WEDDING BELL BLUES


At 7am today, I spoke to my sister from the Philippines and she told me that they are getting ready for their flight. Mom and my sister are coming to Canada to attend my wedding on September 1st. I couldn't help but cry out of excitement that finally, my mom's going to set her foot on a foreign land. My mom has never been outside the Philippines and this would be her first international flight. She travelled a lot back home, but that is all. I am nervous too and I just keep praying that the Lord will keep them safe and will protect them and bring them here okay, safe and sound.

I have mixed feelings about their coming here. First, I don't own a house and they wouldn't live with me during their stay. Which is sad, although they are going to stay at my cousin's house and my cousins are great as they took care of me too when I arrived in 2002. I just wish they can stay with me but I have to accept that as a fact.

I also went on a 'date' with my friend and bridesmaid Maureen last night. To her, I poured out my heart, tears, frustrations, and all the pains I am currently experiencing. I felt better after that, I agree that once in a while we need to talk to someone instead of keeping things all to ourselves. Our heart will be filled with so much you might end up dead. I also realized that I haven't been talking to Maureen and Luz for so long. We (and Adora) used to go to one place together and talk about life. I feel so cheated, betrayed, by the people I trusted and loved the most. People I trusted to take care of me decided to fool around and lie to me just when all I needed was comfort and honesty. All I want to happen now is for life to go fast-forward and be at the period after September 1st. Only God knows what the future is, so I can only wait. Although we have free will to shape our destiny, I would still let God's will decide for me.

Inspite of all the chaos I am going through right now, I am excited to see my mom and my sister. That keeps me smiling still. How I wish now that I should have let them bring my darling Stephen (Penpen) so I would have someone to hug and kiss when the feeling of betrayal grips me.